In the rare moments when I’m not living in my head, I feel myself in my actual body and wonder how I got here. Who am I? Who are all these people? What’s going on? It feels... like I can’t feel anything at all. I’m just here. Here being the result of every decision I’ve made and every feeling I’ve felt.. every feeling I’ve denied. Then I start to drift off and question if you would recognize me today. How would you feel? Would you be disappointed? Or shocked? Would you come closer? Or would you watch from afar? I don’t know. Lately, reality has caught itself up to me. Pain has caught up to me. I just wish you were here to be caught up with me.